Dear Friends:
The way one behaves in everyday
life or in business life brings success or failure to most people.
One can’t expect people to be of the
same opinion all the time. One always has to expect reaction from people who
may not agree with every relationship or behavior.
How violent these reactions are
can make the purpose behind that particular behavior change; they can bring
loss rather than gain.
One especially has to avoid
behavior that takes the form of a sharp command.
One should benefit from the
testimony of the people who aren’t going to be happy about this, where a
conversation is to be held or some sort of action taken. In my opinion, after
ascertaining this and before acting, it will be intelligent to get their ideas
in advance, either individually or as a group depending on the circumstances,
and try to convince them gently. These types of meetings most times can turn
straight into a bargaining situation.
Before reaching the bargaining
stage, the opposing side’s requests should be closely examined to see to what
extent they are justified. Additionally, the most suitable diplomatic measure
without further ado is to postpone negotiations to a later but not very distant
date.
In the second negotiation, the
opposing side may be able to find it convenient to draw back a step, from my
point of view psychologically satisfying.
Reaching a conclusion would be
impossible if the two sides were to insist on strictly maintaining their
positions.
Basically behaving this way would
undoubtedly result in loss on both sides. Here one has to be careful to ensure
the items traded by both sides are balanced and don’t harm their reciprocal
interests.
In the event that one side thinks
the other side is weak and so behaves sharply, then it may be useful for that
other side to get tough. This approach will make the opposite side somewhat
nervous and make it easier to reach a conclusion.
Only one has to make an effort to
show that this approach is not a bluff.
So to succeed in negotiating
requires all different kinds of behavior and we’ve seen that the following is
useful:
-
There is value in preparing, either
verbally or preferably in writing, a draft of the negotiations in order to draw
the meeting onto your own turf. In tennis or in volleyball the person whose
turn it is to serve has the advantage.
-
In the envisioned written or
verbal draft, just how much room should be given to allow for retreat has to be
considered.
-
In a situation in which the
opposite side resists irrationally and unjustly despite the retreat, it’s
useful to secretly hold a threatening position in your hand in addition to the
bluff.
We must believe that the worst
peace will bear better results than the best war.
With the hope of being able to
meet now and again in these columns.
Uzeyir Garih